Thanks to Daisy Ridley’s great understated performance and Rachel Lambert’s heartful direction, “Sometimes I Think About Dying” surprises more than one would think. It portrays isolated female existentialism through an oddly functioning mixture of restrained deadpan comedy, romance, melancholy, and plenty of moments of silence.
Sundance Film Festival always has a wide variety of pictures that capture the power of independent cinema, more so from the directors who are making their first moves or on the rise to becoming the next big thing. One of those directors who you should look out for is Rachel Lambert. No worries if you don’t know who she is right now, but you will as soon as you get a glimpse of her latest feature, “Sometimes I Think About Dying,” which is one of the first surprises I have come across during the first days of the festival. Set on the Oregon coast, the film starts with an array of images accompanied by a lovely acoustic score. They aren’t striking per se, but ultimately beautiful to look at. Shots of flowers, meadows, blue skies… everything seems friendly and pleasant.
Thinking About Dying Through Dream-like Scenarios
Until we arrive at a beach, where a young, socially awkward woman named Fran (Daisy Ridley) stands still. She dresses herself to prepare for work, all in a silent manner. She seems disassociated from the world, trapped in a mindstate of sheer silence, which makes the audience interested in one specific thing: What is she thinking? What’s going on in her head? We are all intrigued by what this young woman says, but she cannot elaborate. The silence is drowning her, but what could be the reason for it? That’s what we’re trying to figure out during the first couple of silent minutes into the film. After that, she goes through her days listening to her co-workers’ banter and daydreaming, constantly fading in and out of reality. And then it clicked on me… the film’s title. The following array of forest-bound images confirms it.
This young woman sometimes thinks about the possibility of dying, of disappearing from the face of the Earth to see if someone would recall her experiences (or even her presence). These thoughts aren’t expressed in the way of a phrase (like in the brilliantly melancholic Charlie Kaufman’s “I’m Thinking of Ending Things,” which’s score reminds me of Dabney Morris’ in “Sometimes I Think About Dying”) or dialogue between characters, but dream-like scenarios in which Fran dies, without the shock or graphic violence that other directors might bring onto the table. Dread is smeared into the eclectic mix of romance, deadpan comedy, and isolated existentialism, but there’s no sense of unease. And it is in its favor. The film doesn’t need it to uplift its sensory and emotional capabilities because its other aspects are palpable. They are reflected onto the audience so we can relate to the leading character.
A Carefully Thought-Out and Restrained Script
Things start to change when a new guy, Robert (Dave Merheje), arrives at the office where she works. And in “muble-core”-esque type fashion, this turns Fran’s world upside-down, even though she doesn’t showcase these emotions. The only thing standing in her way from the quickly-growing effervescent spark is Fran herself. While this quick-to-point-out (palm to the face) plot development might have bothered me in other features, because of its lack of creativity and pursuit of cliches, in “Sometimes I Think About Dying,” it doesn’t. Why? Because for two main reasons. The first one is the script. Carefully thought out and restrained in its own fashion, it is far more intelligent than expected.
The jokes within the screenplay may not seem as if it is doing much in terms of emotional effect (especially the dad joke, “What’s a sad coffee called? …a depresso”, which made me howl for no particular reason). However, they are a cover for the film’s proper focus: people who aren’t in the current conversations, which in most cases is Fran. Whether the characters are on the receiving end of the comedic quips or just listening, there’s a playfulness of these awkward scenarios crafted by Lambert’s vision. Her vision is fueled by frustration within isolation and seclusion. Most of us have experienced something of this nature, where we prefer silence and restrainment rather than the talkative manner of approaching things. The repetitiveness of mundane work life drains us daily. This makes us want to go home and lie down for a few seconds, contemplating the future.
Daisy Ridley Gives a Great, Understated Performance
For Fran, she imagines scenarios where she encounters death. For others, it may be a lingering thought of wanting to change things or make another decision. “Sometimes I Think About Dying” is a film about not having someone to be vulnerable with and needing someone to embrace and care for you. Depression and vulnerability come hand-in-hand. The essence of Lambert’s filmmaking speaks more volumes than the dialogues spoken. Rachel Lambert’s inspiration for this movie may not have come from the forsaken “mumble-core” filmography but from European cinema, specifically Swedish with Roy Andersson (director of “You, The Living” and “About Endlessness”). “Sometimes I Think About Dying” is shaped via Andersson’s gift of gab — existential deadpan comedy. But, of course, it is not to the same extent or effect because who could replicate what Roy Andersson did in his career?
That type of comedy is hard to manage throughout a ninety-minute or two-hour movie. Still, Lambert manages to engage the audience and immerse us into a mental dance of reality and dreams. The second reason “Sometimes I Think About Dying” works is because of Daisy Ridley’s understated performance, which some even call career-best (and I agree). It is the first time I have seen her do something like this. We all know her from her lead role as Rey in the latest “Star Wars” trilogy. Now, Ridley is moving on to smaller projects that capture some of her hidden abilities — which she couldn’t demonstrate in those gigantic works. Few actresses can nail the silent-as-a-mouse character and deadpan comedy at the same time with such precision and emotional stability. And Ridley handles both of them with ease.
The Film Shines, Even Beneath its Gloomy Exterior
Unfortunately, some issues here and there regarding the relationship between Fran and Robert hurt the film in the grand scheme of things. It doesn’t seem as authentic as it could have been. And in addition, the co-workers are mostly one-dimensional depictions of people we could see in the office. Aside from that, “Sometimes I Think About Dying” shines brightly, even through the gloomy themes and silent demeanor.
“Sometimes I Think About Dying” is currently playing at the Sundance Film Festival. The festival goes from January 19 – January 29. Join us for continual coverage.
