Even though it’s not October, I’ve been horrified by my fair share of ghosts, goblins and ghouls lately. Now hold on, I know what you’re thinking. In a (somewhat) post-pandemic environment, what did you expect was going to happen when the masks came off? Say what you will about the past two years, but what a blessing it was to only see fifty percent of some of these creatures’ grills. But yeah. Somehow, I still find a way to get up and go to work every morning.
We’re half way to Halloween and I couldn’t be more stoked. I’d like to take this opportunity to help you escape the monotony of service as a card-carrying member of the real world and follow me down a rabbit hole of gloriously gory underrated horror films. Warning: this list is not for the faint of heart. But you’re strong. We’re strong. We can handle any calamity that comes our way. That’s what we’ve learned the past couple years. Even an apocalypse of face-eating, bath-salting munching zombies bred in a farmers market from hell can’t touch us. Anyway, if I was paid to pontificate, I’d never leave the house. Well, except to go to Dunkin’. But that’s it. Alright enough. Here are five gloriously gory underrated horror films to sink your teeth into this April!
‘High Tension’ (2003)
“High Tension” is a trip and a half. This whirlwind of chaotic violence proves that during the early part of this century, the best horror movies were still coming from overseas. The tension is no doubt high as hell in this French thriller. One scene in particular is so ridiculously savage I can’t even believe it exists on films. Hint: watch for the stairs. There may also be Grand Canyon sized plot holes but still, what the hell is the deal with that head?
‘Scanners’ (1981)
Okay, okay. I get it and you’re not wrong. The acting in “Scanners” is actually scarier than anything that happens in the film. But still, this ground-breaking landmark from body-horror mastermind David Cronenberg is so much fun. While the legend himself would surpass the excellence of this ESP-heavy story in subsequent films, it absolutely is a must watch for the uninitiated. Trust me, it’ll blow your mind.
‘The Devil’s Rejects’ (2005)
Why do we sleep on Rob Zombie? People love bashing the man ranked number nine on my ‘Top Ten All Time Favorite Musical Artists’ list. His movies play like great homages to the films that not only influenced his film-making, but more importantly, his music. Captain Spaulding is an all time great horror classic villain. The middle chapter in the ‘Firefly Family Trilogy’ is so gross, filthy, and over the top you won’t be able to wash the stank of it off you if you tried!
‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part II’ (1986)
Sequels are a mixed bag. Most times they fail because the second chapter is a pale imitation of its predecessor which looks to completely replicate what worked previously without any intention of taking a risk or a chance. Not the case here. What the hell is this movie even? It plays more like a dark comedy than a straight on horror movie… but man. Even Dennis Hopper. He had to be blitzed out of his mind on this one. Like I picture Tobe Hooper’s direction being like, “Hey Dennis. Great take. But this time, could you be a little more completely effing bokners?” I love this movie. Ever since that 7th grade sleepover when I first saw it and have since refused to eat Chili. What a flick!
‘Terrifier’ (2016)
Okay so if you have not seen this, you absolutely must. The film plays perfectly on all of our fears of clowns but where Pennywise may come off sadistically funny, Art the Clown just completely ruined the circus for me. I saw this 2016 gem a year after its release and let me tell you, this dude drove home from his friends house with all the lights in the car on! I mean, it was just so unsettling. I feel I must do my best Samara impression to inflict you with this wonderful modern horror classic!
Keep checking The Movie Buff for more fun Halloween content all month long!
