Review: ‘Appropriate Behavior’ Perfectly Mixes Humor and Angst to Highlight Heartbreak and Sexual Identity in New York City



Desiree Akhavan’s “Appropriate Behavior” focuses on Shirin (played by Akhavan), a woman in her ’20s living in New York, as she struggles with her sexuality and coming to grips with breaking up with her girlfriend Maxine.   

It’s a lovely film, with just the right amounts of humor and angst, and it feels genuine throughout. You feel that Desiree experienced many of these same issues her character Shirin is going through; it gives the film more weight than other films that have tackled this subject with more objectivity and aloofness.

Coming to Grips with Sexuality and Heartbreak

The fact that Shirin is Iranian adds another layer to the film; Shirin is conflicted on whether to tell her parents she’s bisexual, fearing how they will react. Her brother fractures her self-esteem even more, because while Shirin has no career and is still figuring out her life, her brother has a great career. He is engaged to a beautiful plastic surgeon; he has his life totally in order as Shirin’s is increasingly falling apart.  

Shirin is a devastatingly beautiful woman; but her lack of self-esteem causes her to get involved in various seedy one-night stands and situations, trying to fill the void in her heart. I feel that if Shirin had confidence and loved herself, none of these one-nighters would have happened, because she wouldn’t need that kind of validation.  

In one scene that’s both humorous and bizarre, she has a ménage à trois with a guy and his girlfriend she meets in a bar.  It’s obvious Shirin is WAY more into the woman, and focuses on the woman as the woman focuses more on her boyfriend.  It turns into an awkward groping session, all fumbling heads, hands and arms, but afterwards, the woman really seems to like Shirin and wants to see her more. She tells Shirin she likes her and would be happy to do anything with her, even staying up all night playing a game of “Clue”-themed “Monopoly,” which is about one of the sweetest things I’ve ever heard.  Who wouldn’t want someone to tell them that? It’s one of those wonderfully sincere things you only hear when you’re under 30, but Shirin’s ultimately disappointed again, though.

A Great Start for Akhavan; Looking Toward the Future

As Shirin flashbacks to her relationship with Maxine, we get little nuggets of their time together, from when they first meet to the bitter end of their relationship. Through it all, we see the increasing gap between Shirin’s vivaciousness and impulsiveness and Maxine’s reserved introspective nature. These flashbacks reminded me a bit of “Annie Hall,” where Alvy Singer flashes back to his relationship with Annie; though here, the breakup is much more recent, so Shirin still feels the bitter sting of it.

I loved “Appropriate Behavior” and Desiree Akhavan’s direction and writing. I look forward to seeing her other work and what she does in the future.

“Appropriate Behavior” is currently available to stream on realeyz and the Criterion Channel. It’s also available free with ads on Tubi TV, The Roku Channel, Pluto TV, VUDU Free, IMDB TV Amazon Channel.

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