If you’d rather wake up in a bathtub full of ice, minus a kidney with a cell phone taped to your hand instead of watching “Urban Legend,” I can’t disagree with you. But it’s okay. I’ve done the heavy lifting for you.
Since the 1970s and the birth of the slasher genre, there’s been no shortage of horror flicks about a group of teens or young adults getting chopped or slashed or stalked at the hands of some lunatic. By the 1990s the formula had run its course until “Scream” exploded onto screens. And when that happened, Hollywood did what it does best: churn out an endless supply of trashy rip-offs with the sole purpose of gouging every last cent they can out of the movie-going public. So “Scream” opened the floodgates and of all the trash to follow, one flick stands above the rest: “Urban Legend.”
I mean, what a concept. We all know some urban legends. The beginning of this movie is straight up fire. The whole “there’s someone in the backseat” is so gold, Jerry! Especially since we got the voice of Chucky, Brad Dourif as the gas station attendant who can’t speak. Riddle me this: it’s a monsoon outside. Why isn’t he in that little gas shack warming up? Now obviously because to make this work, we need to think he is trying to kill her and if he can speak, he’d just say, “hey there’s somebody in the back seat.” Yes, this makes the fake out really land. When he finally can yell what’s up, that reveal really pays off. But it does feel a little convenient, no?
But that’s all folks! You know that old Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers motto, “don’t bore us, get to the chorus” line? Well, “Urban Legend” gave us the goods ten minutes in and then just absolutely murders our senses for the next hour and a half. If you love pretentious young adults who make a living playing pretentious teens in over-written, highly-dramatized CW shows then this is the film for you! I just wish anyone making this film had an ounce of the integrity Jared Leto has as a journalist for the college newspaper. Like we all love Jared Leto, but make no mistake; he didn’t go off the deep end with “Suicide Squad.” He’s been hamming it up for decades. I can’t find the exact quote but I believe he said something to the effect of, “If I can’t overact, I won’t act at all.”
Can we talk about “Smallville’s” Lex Luthor seeing his dog microwaved? How about that Pop Rocks and Coke gag with Robert Englund as the smarmy professor? I love the horror legend cameos. But what I don’t care for is Joshua Jackson, Tara Reid, and the other legends of “Urban Legend.” Like it’s horror and I love horror and I know the acting should be bad but Jesus Christ. It makes “Showgirls” look like “Sophie’s Choice.”
If you’re looking for dumb fun, you could do worse. If nothing else, it’s worth checking out for the first ten minutes. There’s a couple of sequels also. But unless you’re a glutton for punishment, I’d avoid them quicker than flashing a car without its headlights on.
“Urban Legend” is available to watch or rent on most streaming platforms.
