Friday, May 10

Bone Tomahawk (NR)

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“Bone Tomahawk” presents itself as a western themed horror movie, but as we’ve seen with this style before (refer to the abject failure that is “The Burrowers“) it simply lacks any redeeming qualities, and save for a fun performance from Matthew Fox it wouldn’t even be worth discussing.

We have a setting that looks a lot like any wild west type movie; the dusty streets, parked horses, a saloon filled with local drunkards. Kurt Russell plays Sheriff Franklin Hunt – a role that the senior actor seems to be typecast for these days, and as one may predict he’s a thinly painted character who does what’s right and always succeeds at taking the bad guy down. Kurt Russell is solid as he generally is, but a movie like “Bone Tomahawk” is a little beneath a man who once went face to face with “The Thing.”

A murderous drifter (David Arquette) arrives in Bright Hope after being ambushed by a tribe of cannibalistic troglodytes. The mutants, or whatever they are, eventually kidnap the town nurse, Samantha (Lili Simmons). In true wild west style, Sheriff Hunt rounds up a good ole fashioned posse to retrieve Samantha.

At 132 minutes, “Bone Tomahawk” is far too long. Set aside the weak story and lackluster action or suspense, the movie paces so slowly that the majority of the plot literally consists of Sheriff Hunt’s group travelling to the location of the troglodytes. Yes there’s an occasional moment of suspense here and there, but the viewer never finds themselves fully immersed in any real danger or sense of urgency with what is happening.

I also never really understood what the troglodytes are supposed to be. Are they simply primitive humans, or are they some kind of supernatural being? They possess inhuman strength and the rare ability to resist gunshot wounds, but who or what they are is never really explained. And when they are on screen, you aren’t scared of them. More like disgusted by the gratuitous nature of whatever senseless act they’re performing, all of which are done for no other reason than shock factor.

Joining Sheriff Hunt is John Brooder (Matthew Fox) an educated snooty sort who is by far my favorite character. Brooder has a quick whit and tongue, lashing out verbally and at times physically against the simpletons he is on the journey with. He also delivers a series of laugh out loud moments and lines. “Smart men don’t get married.” He explains as to why he is single, and the only reason they are now in danger is Samantha’s husband (Patrick Wilson) wanting to get her back.

Some critics have praised “Bone Tomahawk” for its slow burning story. This critic will not give it the same honor. It’s a boring plot that misses with pacing, action, and suspense of any kind.

by – Matt DeCristo

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Matt's a writer and content creator for the site. His reviews offer insight on the art of filmmaking from the standpoint of a casual fan. Check out mattdecristo.com and follow him on Instagram and Twitter @MattDeCristo.

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