The Cabin in the Woods (R)

This is a difficult movie to review. Almost any amount of information I give in relation to the plot is going to get precariously close to spoiler territory. So instead of a full plot summary, I am only going to give you a very limited description of the beginning and then just talk about some of the concepts.

There are two different stories happening at the beginning of “The Cabin in the Woods.” In the first one, we see what appears to be a government type complex in action. People there talk about mundane normal life stuff, like childproof locks on cabinets, and hint at some sort of competition with other nations. They mention that the Japanese are the best and the U.S. is second best at, well, something.

In the second story, five young folk are getting ready for a trip to a cabin in the woods. They are, Dana (Kristen Connolly), recently single and hesitant, Curt (Chris Hemsworth, aka Thor), intelligent and proactive, Jules (Anna Hutchison), recently blond and gregarious, Marty (Fran Kranz), stoner philosopher, and Holden (Jesse Williams), unassuming and kind. Together they almost make up a cliché group destined for a horror adventure.

And that’s it! That is all you are going to get!

But I will talk a little about the themes of this movie and why you should watch it.

“The Cabin in the Woods” is best described as a meta-horror movie, or a horror movie about horror movies. Remember “Scream,” from 1996? Remember how Jamie Kennedy’s character, Randy, would discuss the rules of horror in his classroom while those very same rules were being employed throughout the movie? That was a little bit of meta-horror. “The Cabin in the Woods” is a LOT of meta-horror. It doesn’t just talk about a few elements; it finds a way to look at nearly every element.

There is a point in the movie where it moves past the meta-horror element and goes into a completely different direction, but again I won’t go into any details because, you know, spoilers. I will say, though, that this point is very fun.

Horror movies live and die by a rubric. They must have characters you don’t want to see die (i.e. the opposite of the lady in the original “Blair Witch.”) There must be some threat (either a monster, an event, or anything else menacing.) And there must be stakes (usually the death of the characters.)

“The Cabin in the Woods” has many characters you don’t want to see die (especially the lovable stoner played by Fran Kranz. Side note: apparently Mr. Kranz doesn’t remove his shirt in the lake swimming scene because of how absolutely muscular he is and how it wouldn’t do for the stoner to be more jacked than Thor.) There are many, many threats. And the stakes turn out to be pretty, pretty high.

Thus, it does in fact qualify as a horror movie.

But, all of that said, don’t watch “The Cabin in the Woods” expecting to be scared throughout. You probably will find yourself laughing more than jumping. And this is done intentionally as part of the whole meta thing.

If you like horror movies and more specifically love monster movies, then you must absolutely give “The Cabin in the Woods” a go. It is funny, gory, silly, and lots of fun.

Just don’t let anyone tell you about it beforehand.

– by Lane Vespertine