Canada is well known as a peaceful land with universal healthcare and a plethora of friendly and easy going citizens. The scariest thing to come from our neighbors to the north is the “sport” of ice hockey. And after Rob Cowan and Larry Cohen’s 2009 horror attempt “Messages Deleted,” it’s safe to say that remains the case.
Thrust into fame with his role in 1996’s horror sensation “Scream,” Matthew Lillard takes the lead reigns as an obnoxious professor, teaching a college class on screenwriting while simultaneously attempting to get his own written work signed. The opening scene features Lillard in class dissecting a student’s bad film and you will be hard pressed to realize where the student’s bad film ends and “Messages Deleted” begins. Lillard’s over the top delivery is pretty much the scariest part of the entire movie. From his acidic criticisms of his students to his blatant sexual advances on a cute female in the class named Millie (Gina Holden).
As Professor Joel Brandt, Lillard begins getting sinister voice mail messages left on his machine that warn him of the impending deaths of complete strangers. As the weak plot unravels, the revelation is that the killer is acting out scenes from a play Brandt himself once wrote (but somehow forgot about).
“Messages Deleted” isn’t a horror movie in any sense of the word. It’s not a thriller, and it’s not even a mystery since there is really nothing mysterious about it. With wretched acting and noticeably bad editing (one scene features Brandt taken into custody and as the door to the police car slams shut, he is immediately seen walking with the officers away from the car into the station while still having the same conversation) and a complete disregard for realism as the police officers working the case (Deborah Kara Unger and Serge Houde) violate civil rights at every turn and have a complete disregard for the safety of anyone standing in their way.
I caught “Messages Deleted” on Showtime and am dumbfounded that I sat through the entire thing. If you see this piece of garbage show up on your guide, heed my message; it needs to be deleted.
by – Matt Christopher
