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    The Movie Buff
    Feature Article

    ‘I Know You Are, But What Am I?’ — Remembering the Life of Paul Ruebens, and the Pee Wee Memories He Left Behind

    Joe HughesBy Joe HughesAugust 5, 2023No Comments5 Mins Read
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    Paul Ruebens
    Paul Ruebens dressed as Pee Wee Herman in a still from "Pee Wee's Playhouse." (Photo: Pee Wee Pictures).
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    Throughout my life, from way back in the day when I was a little guy and spent my days lost in a sea of Batman toys through modern day where I live my best life lost in a sea of …well, Batman toys, when I think about who my idols are, one person rises above the rest. Now, those close to me will assume I am speaking of Christopher Walken, thanks in large part to the fantastic impression of him I do (gold waaacttchh). But no. The honor belongs to the incomparable Pee Wee Herman. The voice of my early childhood who has stuck with me through all these years, always bringing laughs and a smile but more importantly, bringing forth wonderful childhood memories.

    This week sucks. I mean, it’s the absolute worst. Pee Wee Herman — or better the man behind Pee Wee, Paul Reubens — tragically passed away at the age of 70, following a private battle with cancer. Back in June of 2009, I was at work counting out vitamins and other medications when a voice on the radio announced Michael Jackson passed away. In that moment a coworker of mine froze, whipped her arm up to her forehead and screamed, “Not Baby Michael!” She then fell to the ground like a wobbly Jenga tower whose final foundation piece was removed. This is not exaggerated for comedic value. It was some of the most bonkers ass stuff I ever witnessed. But with the news of Pee Wee, I kind of finally understood where she was coming from.

    ‘Pee Wee’ Had a Profound Impact

    The news hit me harder than that Mac truck hit Gage in “Pet Sematary.” I mean it left me not only speechless, I felt I couldn’t move. I didn’t yell and fall to the ground… but for the love. Like I said to my father later that day, it was like losing a member of the family. I have such unbelievably vivid core memories of Pee Wee Herman. As a little dude in the late ’80s and early ’90s, Saturday mornings were everything for me. Toys scattered across the living room, a couple bowls deep of the Lord’s original Crack, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and cartoons blaring out of the television. But when it was time for the Playhouse, “Pee Wee’s Playhouse,” I sat mesmerized as the rest of the world sat still.

    The mystical world of “Pee Wee’s Playhouse” had a profound effect on me. From the wild and wacky characters (you know them all) to the idea of never really having to grow up. The glorious absurdity of it all struck a nerve in me and still does. I keep my Christmas tree up year-round. I have a Batman themed room called ‘The Batcave.’ A cigarette smoking skeleton wearing a Santa hat and aviator shades named Franklin sits at the piano. Det. Francis Mittens patrols over the house from his cat tower. I’ve often thought of my house as my own playhouse. And that influence all comes from Mr. Herman.

    My love of Pee Wee extends past the Playhouse. His iconic Christmas special along with the films based around his character. “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure,” the directorial debut of Tim Burton, remains a top favorite movie of mine. Filled with such irreverence yet fantastical nonsense it is just so glorious. From Large Marge to Francis to Tequila to Dottie to The Alamo, it’s absolutely glorious. The film was a staple of my childhood. My cousin and I would watch as little kids — completely immersed in the world of Pee Wee Herman. When “Big Adventure” came on, you couldn’t pull her or I away from the television.

    An Eclectic Personality that Excelled Across Genres

    Paul Ruebens
    Paul Ruebens starred in “Blow” alongside Johnny Depp. (Photo: New Line Cinema).

    For her and I, a true dream come true nearly came true. We secured tickets to the 35th Anniversary tour of “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.” The tour was to have a viewing of the film followed by a Q& A with the man himself. We even went the extra mile for VIP tickets so we could meet him and get an autograph and picture. Thanks to Covid though, that magical event wasn’t to be as the tour was cancelled due to restrictions and complications tied to the pandemic. While at the time we were bummed, we assumed we’d have a chance once it rescheduled. Unfortunately, that is no longer a reality.

    Outside of his work as Pee Wee Herman, Ruebens shined in supporting roles in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” “Batman Returns,” and “Blow.” And for a show known for having hilarious guest spots, he delivered the most outrageous and hilarious guest spot ever on a 2007 episode of “30 Rock.” His appearances throughout the years on late night shows with David Letterman and Conan O’Brien rank among some of the best late night moments.

    Like everyone. Like every single person. Paul Reubens was a layered and at times complicated creature. And so what? What matters the most about him is the joy he brought to so many. I know I’m not unique in my love and admiration and for all my great memories of Pee Wee Herman. Many other people my age who experienced the magic of “Pee Wee’s Playhouse” as a child feel the same. If another big Pee Wee fan looked at me and said, “Hey. you’re probably the biggest Pee Wee fan I know.” I’d simply respond, “I know you are…but what am I?”

    Blow childhood comedy growing up Paul Ruebens Pee Wee Herman Pee Wee's Playhouse Tim Burton
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    Joe Hughes
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    Joe is a movie and music enthusiast and and writer. His writing combines his love for these mediums with his unique perspective and unrelenting sense of humor.

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