“Halloween Ends“…or so the title goes is the hotly-anticipated sequel to 2021’s “Halloween Kills.” By my estimate, “Halloween Ends” makes it a lucky thirteen for the long-running franchise. In otherwords, it’s the third film of the requel trilogy started with 2018’s “Halloween,” which is a direct sequel to the original 1978 masterpiece, “Halloween.” So, I guess it’s the final film in the four-peat. Confused yet? Well let me help muddy the waters some more. If you want to enjoy “Halloween: Number Unlucky 13” to the point you’re willing to die for it, follow me down a rabbit hole of gore, guts, and glorious nonsensical plot lines and franchise left turns.
For starters, the John Carpenter classic, the one that started it all, is a masterpiece. The original slasher deserves to be honored like Simba when Rafiki held him to the sky. It’s brilliant. It’s understated. And it’s a classic and it inspired so many films to follow. The sequel was no slouch either; and as far as sequels go, it works. But here’s where things get so crazy even Dr. Loomis can’t keep up.
A Zany Foray into the World of ‘Halloween’
We’ve had a film about masks, the return and revenge of Michael Myers where Laurie is dead but she had a psychic kind of daughter (“Carrie” much….”Friday the 13th Part VII” much….). Then what should have been a curse turned into a blessing as part six gave us the cinematic debut of Paul Stephen Rudd (60% of the time, it works every time).
That led us to the next attempt at a four-peat. “H20” and “Resurrection” are what happens if you try to make a “Halloween” version of “Scream” or “I know What You Did Last Summer.” While that can be forgivable given the climate of horror in the ’90s, it erased everything that happened following the original sequel. Gone was the psychic kid. Gone the man in black. Worst of all — we traded Paul Stephen Rudd for Busta Rhymes. The horror!
Just when you thought “Halloween” was actually left for dead, a new hero showed up to give us a remake and a completely bananas-ass sequel that is so dark and so brutal and so gross and so disgusting and so stomach turning that I absolutely adore it! Enter the Astro-Creep himself, Rob Zombie. Like a superhero from Transylvania, Mr. Zombie injected the franchise with enough bolts of electricity to awaken an entire family of Frankensteins. Like his music, if you aren’t into it, I can’t make you a believer. So trust me when I say these films are way more Rob Zombie than they are “Halloween” and they’re wonderful for that.
Another Clean Slate…but Will ‘Halloween Ends’ Give Fans What they Deserve?
So now, when all else fails, it’s the requel. For like the ninth time here.
So here we are. Back to the front. Everything is wiped clean. Nothing past the original counts. John Carpenter is back producing. Jamie Lee Curtis is back but not Michael’s sister. We’ve got a legitimate fluid and sensible continuation of the night the shape came home. Except…where the 2018 film was great, “Kills” feels like just another run-of-the-mill generic slasher with too much slashing and not enough substance. Which concerns me for “Ends.”
I want it to be great. Honestly, at this point, I need it to be great. But if I’m being realistic, the character of Michael Myers here is like 70. I saw a 70-year guy at the mall yesterday in the men’s room standing in front of a urinal, pants around his ankles, both palms on the tiled area above propping him up. Now that was horrifying! But the franchise deserves to end of a high note, go out with a bang. We deserve it. Fans deserve it. But even if this film reverts back to the messy, non-sensical nature the franchise has all-too-often perfected, I know “Halloween” never really ends. I mean, if Busta Rhymes couldn’t kill “Halloween,” I know for sure this will not be out last trip to Haddonfield.
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