There’s very little to say about the 2018 teen horror attempt “Slender Man” other than it’s a bad movie and offers zero in the way of enjoyment or value on any front.
The writing is particularly sloppy, with the opening scene and introduction of the main characters; 4 high school girls and best friends, being the immediate tipping point of normalcy. The girls are fine actors, with Julia Goldani Telles as Hallie Knudsen and Joey King (“The Conjuring”) as Wren being the main focus. The conversation is so unnatural, it’s as though writer David Birke is a middle-aged man and not a high school girl – oh wait, that’s exactly what he is.
“Slender Man” is one of those, main characters conjure an evil entity for fun and it turns out to be real sort of movies. Rather than the Ouija Board, the demonic entity is unleashed via an internet video playing on a laptop. The plausibility goes out the window with the girls accepting that Slender Man is real far too quickly, and then seemingly not caring that he is, even after two of their friends are missing. It’s almost as if one character mentions a close friend of the group is nowhere to be found, and the other replies I can’t think about it I have a chemistry test.
The movie itself is sluggish and flat out boring, and its only 93 minutes. You’ll never feel tension, and what’s worse is that the Slender Man himself isn’t even that scary, though actor Javier Botet (who plays the titular monster) looks menacing enough in reality to hopefully be cast in more sinister roles.
Short review for an awful movie. If you’ve made it this far, I’ll offer a quick bit of cinema advice. Don’t waste a second of time even considering “Slender Man.”
