When I think of Clint Eastwood, I think of three types of film: Westerns, “Dirty Harry” flicks, and films directed by the Hollywood legend himself. Outside of these three categories, I don’t know how to classify any other films starring the cowboy formerly knows as the man with no name. Well, maybe a sub-category for those monkey movies. But how about 1979’s “Escape From Alcatraz.” Based on the 1962 book of the same name, “Escape From Alcatraz” had the distinguished honor of being the best film about Alcatraz until Michael Bay michael bayed it up with Nic Cage and Sean Connery in 1996’s “The Rock.”
Just kidding! Clint’s version is still better and not just because everything is better when Michael Bay isn’t involved. Clint Eastwood plays Frank Morris. You quickly get the impression Frank Morris likes a challenge. I mean, the warden essentially challenges him to try and escape. I just want to get it off my chest quick here. The warden sucks. You’re going to make the guy shave once a day but only let him shower twice a week? What in the fresh hell?
What really feels odd about “Escape From Alcatraz” is seeing Clint on the other side of the law. It just feels wrong. But there’s a reason they all wanna be like Clint. The man is a legend after all. And long before the whole, “Get off my lawn” mellow-drama and mediocrity (don’t kill me) of post-2000’s Clint Eastwood, the dude was a straight up bad ass.
“Alcatraz” plays like a lot of other prison movies. There are groups, gangs and clicks. The food is ghab-a-ghoul. The guards are always dicks. But the escape, man. It’s all about the escape. Why else are we watching?
You know that expression, “Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Give him a fishing pole, he’ll never be hungry”? How about the one about giving a guy a spoon and he digs a god damn tunnel with it! I mean. I know this is a true story but do you mean to tell me the toughest, hardest prison in the world also has the weakest infrastructure? I know they make the decoy dummies out of papier-mâché, but were the walls made out of it also!? Good Lord! It’s preposterous!
I wish I could go ahead and make your day and recommend “Escape From Alcatraz” but I just cannot whole-heartedly do that. The film that has some thrills. Your heart will get racing a little here and there. But it just doesn’t hold up. Not as a prison movie. And certainly not as a Clint movie. It’s not as bad as “Space Cowboys” but what is? And you know what? I take back my earlier sentiment. “The Rock” is better.
-by Joe Hughes
