Review: ‘Bullet Train’ is an Exhausting Watch that Lacks Personality

David Leitch’s adaptation of Kōtarō Isaka’s novel, “Bullet Train” is yet another Hollywood all-star gathering that leads to a disappointing final product. As it poorly emulates Tarantino and Guy Ritchie, the action picture ends up as a cartoonish mess and exhausting watch more than an entertaining popcorn flick.

After co-directing “John Wick” (2014), the kickstarter of a high-tension franchise, Leitch has had his hands full. Three years after such success, Leitch delivered the Charlize Theron-led feature, “Atomic Blonde,” which was exhilarating and a big surprise to me because I didn’t expect to enjoy it to the degree that I did. Its well-crafted action set pieces were elevated because of Theron’s energy and badass performance – in the process, downgrading the negative aspects one might have of the film.

A Film That Departs Greatly from the Trailer

However, after the film’s release, the director’s personal filmography (not counting his producer tags) went entirely downhill. Leitch took the helm off Tim Miller and directed the sequel to the 2016 R-rated hit “Deadpool.” And although there are some enjoyable moments in the film, “Deadpool 2” ended up being an extremely annoying and exhausting experience at the cinema, primarily because of Ryan Reynold’s schtick and being way less clever than it thought it was.

This same experience can be translated in some way, shape, or form onto “Bullet Train.” The trailer presented itself as a high velocity “beat ’em up” with tons of the flash and neon style that was present during his previous features, particularly “Atomic Blonde.” In addition, it has multiple Hollywood stars covering every inch of the screen (Brad Pitt, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Brian Tyree Henry, Bad Bunny, etc). And the final product contains all that, plus more, for better or worse — mainly for the latter. “Bullet Train” had the potential to be a high-pulse and entertaining popcorn flick. On paper, the movie had plenty of aspects going its way aside from the talented cast. Nevertheless, Leitch’s direction and Zak Olkewicz’s script are all over the place. This causes the film to be exhausting and muddled. It continually introduces its array of characters into the bloody and action-packed mix.

The Film’s Tarantino and Ritchie Stylings Don’t Quite Find the Mark

Brian Tyree Henry stars in “Bullet Train.” (Photo: Sony Pictures Publicity).

“Bullet Train” revolves around an assassin code-named Lady Bug (Brad Pitt), who has done way too many gigs that have gone off the rails. He doesn’t want to quit entirely. However, he wants a job that is tamer than his previous ones and one that goes according to plan. However, fate has other plans, and his latest, which requires the simple task of boarding a bullet train in Tokyo, finding a specific briefcase, and getting out to the next stop possible, might be his most death-defying and dangerous. Unfortunately for him, he’s not the only person searching for that briefcase. Multiple lethal adversaries from around the globe gather on the world’s fastest train with the same purpose. Leitch channeled his inner Quinten Tarantino and Guy Ritchie for this project, which isn’t a good sign. It totally feels like a person trying too hard to emulate the two from the get-go.

There are killers with specific codenames (Tangerine, Lemon, Prince, The White Death, etc.) who argue about their aliases while referencing pop culture (some of them being of Thomas the Tank Engine). The mid-fight expressions like “hurt people, hurt people” feel like a wink or smirk to the camera. Furthermore, it contains plenty of the stylistic choices in Tarantino’s “Kill Bill” (the backstories for side characters, the needle drops, the slow-motion apparitions, etc). It feels as if David Leitch wanted this film to be the epitome of action blockbuster coolness.

Also Read: Review: ‘Honest Thief’ Liam Neeson Should be its own Genre of Cinema

And there is a sense of “cool” coming from some of the cast member’s personas, Brad Pitt and Brian Tyree Henry’s specifically – one because of his movie-star standing and the other because of his comedic timing, making the best out of the poor jokes in the process. Nonetheless, it ends up being too grating and exhausting in the execution process. You could argue that it delivers what it says on the tin very clearly, with its action-packed hyper-violent scenario and cracked witty self.

Too Many Characters for the Audience to Connect to Any One

Hiroyuki Sanada stars in “Bullet Train.” (Photo: Sony Pictures Publicity).

Nevertheless, it feels like there’s an overload of stuff going on and arriving at each second. At a certain point it starts to get on one’s nerves. However, that’s not “Bullet Train’s” most significant fault — that title belongs to its script and narrative structure. Since the film is constantly trying to juggle multiple characters and their respective plot-lines, it creates plenty of narrative complications; there are two primary ones. The first of these is that the audience doesn’t care about any of these characters. They could be beaten to a pulp, sliced, or shot. It’s hard to root for any of the characters here, not even Brad Pitt’s Ladybug. This then creates a sense of separation from its cinematic sensibilities and popcorn entertainment. It’s just people fighting with each other without much explanation. And that’s where the other primary fault comes into play. There’s no logic to what’s happening on- screen almost during the film’s entire run-time. This is both in its action and character development.

None of the character’s connections with each other are appropriately set up or expanded upon. It leaves most of its explanation toward the end, at a point when the audience doesn’t really care for such information since it’s already reaching closing time. The set-up to the action set pieces are accommodated around sheer “conveniences” rather than storytelling and directorial heft. Things happen for the sake of it, and the audience has to go along because they have no other choice. However, that doesn’t mean they aren’t entirely poor or diminished because of that. Some of the action happening is entertaining enough to withstand the poor design and layout. Although they are not close to being up-to-par with “Atomic Blonde,” I could see plenty of people being engaged with them. For example, a hand-to-hand fight between Pitt and Henry shows apt choreography. And there’s also some tight-spaced combat with a snack bar that quickly nods to Jackie Chan’s earlier work.

A Film Too Self-Aware for its Own Good

In the end, “Bullet Train” flounders not because of David Leitch’s lack of talent, but because of the personas he’s trying to emulate. As the film continues, you see more of Tarantino, Ritchie, and even some of Robert Rodriguez’s stylistic panderings. Unfortunately, it is all for the worse, as its originality keeps flailing as it transgresses. With repetition of jokes that don’t land (which is constant) and a shoddy script, you could only go so far. This is especially since it thinks it is way more clever than it actually is. And with the best bits and pieces of the movie already being in the trailer, what’s left to enjoy? Instead of being a glossy late-summer popcorn movie, “Bullet Train” ends up as a cartoonish, too-self-aware, and exhausting feature that demonstrates that stars and style aren’t enough to sustain a project. It needs personality, coherence, and panache.

“Bullet Train” is currently only available to watch in theaters. 

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