Saturday, April 27

Suspiria (R)

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I don’t know about you, but whenever somebody tells me about one of those spooky horror movies about witches, their declaration usually ends with them gushing over “The Witches”or “Hocus Pocus.” For the love.

“Suspiria” is the spooky witch movie you should be watching – as long as you’re at least fifteen years old. And also, as long as you don’t plan on studying ballet. Trust me, this movie will make send you running away from the life of a ballerina quicker than “Jaws” will keep you out of the ocean.

This 1977 spaghetti-horror flick from master of horror Dario Argento gets its rocks off using a combination of vivid, lush colors, a haunting score and some truly wild kills. There’s an eery mood from the second it begins and while it never ends throughout, it sticks with you long after watching. It’s what I call a one-and-done film. See it once. And you’re good. Not because it’s not worth replays. In fact, upon replay, the film takes on a new life as more of the mysteries seem to be unfolded and hinted towards throughout. It’s just a heavy as hell movie that even some of the bravest horror fans may balk at.

One particularly gruesome scene involves “someone” entering a young woman’s room from the outside, smashing through the window and ultimately stabbing her numerous times all while another character yells and screams and begs for help to no avail. The scene is so shocking and graphic and ends with the girl being thrown through a stained glass ceiling and ending up with her neck in a noose. Folks, “Suspiria” makes “The Blair Witch” look like your grandmother. A Bette Midler joint this is not!

Dario Argento utilized style as much as substance throughout “Suspiria.”While the film is no doubt gross and inflicts you with a persistent paranoia, his wide spread influence has lived on in the decades since he nailed it with this masterpiece. You cannot quantify how important atmosphere for a film is. You don’t just want to watch it; with a good movie, you should feel something as well. And while you will definitely feel awful watching this gore fest, be thankful you can feel at all!

So. Let’s skip talk of the two sequels. And the kinda not so good whatsoever remake from 2018. You don’t need them any more than you need to watch “Hocus Pocus” one more god damn time this Halloween on Freeform. If you want to experience honest to god horror this Halloween season, throw on “Suspiria.”And one last thing – eat light before hand. You’ll thank me later.

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About Author

Joe is a movie and music enthusiast and and writer. His writing combines his love for these mediums with his unique perspective and unrelenting sense of humor.

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