Ted (R)

A few years back, there was such enormous and seemingly unanimous veneration over a comedy movie called “The Hangover” that out of my own personal disdain for all things trendy I instinctively avoided it like a prostate examination.  The praise continued at an unparalleled level – rare for a comedy – so I broke down and watched it.  When it was finished, I found myself amazed that the movie not only lived up to all the hype but immediately became a personal comedic favorite of mine.

Fast forward to the start of 2013.  The uncontrolled laughter between two friends, Diane and Catherine, was persisting as they recited lines and were practically convulsing with superfluous mirth and I was forced to relinquish my embargo, give in to peer pressure, and watch a movie that had audiences and critics alike in stitches in a way reminiscent of “The Hangover.”

Upon its theatrical release, I really became intrigued with the 2012 Seth MacFarlane film “Ted.”  Its crude humor and ridiculous plot looked like something I would find amusing, but as it garnered the unpolished fanfare of the masses I figured it too pop-vogue for my taste.  Alas I decided to give it a shot.

Many films over the years focus on the plot device of a man falling in love with a woman and then, in order to keep said woman, is
forced to make some significant change in his life, often being forced to sever ties with a lifelong friend thought to be holding his maturity back.  “Ted” harnesses this common and humorous storyline but manages to change it with a unique and one of a kind angle.

Ted begins with a crass narrator (Patrick Stewart) explaining that this is the story of a little boy in Boston and a magical Christmas wish that changed his life forever.  It’s Christmas Eve 1985 and eight-year-old John Bennett (Brett Manley) has a tough time making friends.  On Christmas morning John opens his present and reveals a large stuffed bear that he names ‘Teddy.’

Due to his lack of human friends, John and Teddy become inseparable, and that night he makes a wish that the stuffed bear would be alive.  In the night sky we see a falling star and the next morning, John is shocked to discover that his wish has come true; Teddy the bear is now a living, speaking, and completely animated being.

John’s parents accept it as a Christmas miracle (unlike other stories of the same ilk that keep the secret between just the boy and the doll, the living and talking stuffed animal is not only well known but completely accepted by everyone else in the world).  Sharing a mutual fear of thunderstorms, John and Teddy make a pact to be best buddies for life.

A montage then advances the time; John grows up, graduates college, gets a girlfriend named Lori (Mila Kunis) and buys a house – all with the bear in tow.

It is also shown that the now adult Ted (voiced by Seth MacFarlane) is a celebrity, appearing on Johnny Carson and gracing the cover of numerous magazines.  He is also shown to be something of a bad influence, getting arrested for possession of hallucinogenic mushrooms.

Its present day and the now 35-year-old John (Mark Wahlberg) and Ted are still best friends.  They enjoy slacking off and smoking pot.  John has been dating Lori for four years and continues to work a menial job.

Lori, though wanting more from the relationship, loves John and has a tolerance for Ted.  But as Lori begins to want more out of their lives, John must find a way to finally grow up, which may be impossible if he continues his loving friendship with the stuffed bear that’s been side by side for nearly 30 years.

“Ted” manages to hit on many aspects; the Boston accent of the main characters is priceless for the dialogue and activities of the two main stars (Wahlberg and MacFarlane are both New England natives).

Adding to the great humor is the supporting cast including hilarious actors Joel McHale (who plays Lori’s obnoxious boss Rex) and Giovani Ribisi (the film’s antagonist – a father who will stop at nothing to obtain Ted for his own son). Also making minor cameos are Patrick Warburton (TV’s “Rules of Engagement”) and Ryan Reynolds.

Ted also features a side cast of gorgeous women. Mila Kunis is out of this world as always, and lesser roles go to other babes Jessica Barth, Laura Vandervoort, Jessica Stroup, Ginger Gonzaga, and Melissa Ordway. Fans of “Seinfeld” will take note of several references to the sitcom dispersed throughout.

In contrast, Ted is filled with many hysterical jokes, but the movie misses just a little as a whole (reminiscent of Seth MacFarlane’s
“hit” TV show “Family Guy”) where individual laughs are greater than the completed story.

“The Hangover” is not only full of laughs but a great story too.  The crudeness of “Family Guy” is rampant throughout, as to be expected, and the only other part that raises an eyebrow is the relationship between John and Lori – in real life at the time of filming Wahlberg was 40 while Kunis was 29 – not an insurmountable age difference but one that appears more noticeable on screen.

The complaints on “Ted” are minor.  You will laugh.  You will enjoy it.  You may be grossed out a little.  You will most defiantly want your own living teddy bear best friend.

On a side note, midway through I made a prediction to myself that I would bet my car there will be a sequel.  The next day I heard Mark Wahlberg on the radio revealing that “Ted 2” is already in the works.

– by Matt Christopher