Doom (R)

The early ‘90s were practically littered with revolutionary-for-the-time video games, most popular the classic first-person-shooter. Software company ID software released many variations on these games, most popular “Wolfenstien 3D,” which featured a soldier attempting to escape from a Nazi prison, and “Doom,” a game that took place on a abandoned facility on Mars, its hero stalked by a host of alien demons with but a pistol to fight his way out. In spirit, it is doubtless that the 2005 movie “Doom,” helmed by Director Andrzej Bartkowiak, is a valiant attempt at recreating the excitement of the original video game and the chilling atmosphere that served as its backdrop. The only problem is that the attempt fails miserably. Sub-par acting, a non-existent script, and a complete lack of direction renders an experience that is lacking at best, and at worst is virtually unwatchable.

“Doom” features a mostly unheard of cast, led at the forefront by Dwayne Johnson, better known to wrestling aficionados as “The Rock.” For some reason, if Johnson had done nothing else than shoot up baddies for the movie’s entire run-time yelling, “Can you smell what The Rock is cooking,” the film might have actually been entertaining. Alas this was not to be.

The film’s premise revolves around an elite-military team of Marines being sent to a facility performing an “archaeological dig” on Mars. There’s been a disturbance, and six scientists are now missing – or presumed dead. It’s the Marine’s job to secure the area and rescue the scientists if possible; or, if it’s not possible, to kill all threats “with extreme prejudice.” Along the way it becomes apparent that mutants from unethical science experiments have degenerated into zombies and are turning the scientists – and the Marines – into corpses and – in worse cases – the undead.

The basic problem with “Doom” is that it is just unbelievably boring. Fifteen minutes into the movie, we are aware that the Marines are at the facility to do something really elite, but we have honestly no idea what that something is. The film attempts to solve this problem by throwing in a lot of tough-guy banter and a tense relationship between one Marine John (Karl Urban) and his wayward scientist sister Samantha (Rosamund Pike). However, 40 minutes into the film – even amidst the loss of several lives – the action never picks up, showing little more than the Marines walking around the facility, occasionally shooting at something that moves in the furnace, in the floors, etc., although we’re never allowed to see what.

There is even one almost-vindicating scene where Sarge (Dwayne Johnson) finds and studies a new weapon produced at the facility, the BFG, which stands for “Bio Force Gun.” Yeah, right.

Although it is clear at certain points that “Doom” is actually trying (a scene where one Marine, “Porter” fights a demon creature in an electrified cage is oddly tense and actually garners support for his character), it ultimately suffers from the same problems of other video game/movie adaptations such as “Mortal Kombat” or “Hitman.”  It’s though its’ writers spent so much time coming up with action sequences intended as nods to the game’s fanbase that they left themselves no time to actually write a compelling story.

While certainly entertaining, it says nothing positive about “Doom” that its most interesting scene occurs when the camera follows one Marine in a first person shooter view as he opens door after door, shooting whatever threat comes before him with extreme prejudice. It feels just like a video game; the unfortunate aspect, however, is that one could have an infinitely better time watching a 16-year-old play the game at an arcade then sitting down to watch this movie.

Finally, and most disappointing, is that “Doom” manages to completely squander the outer world atmosphere so well created in the video game. The game took place all indoors, but occasionally you could see the surface of the Mars outside a window, stretching eerily into eternity. “Doom,” however, shows nothing of this. The entire movie is filmed in darkness, cramped into the narrow hallways of the facility like a claustrophobic outcast. There is also zero character development, an occurrence all the more poignant with an ending one could only guess was supposed to provide a real amount of tension. However, without caring at all about any of the characters involved in it, the best you could hope for is a quick finish – or at the very least some good old fashioned blood and guts. Sadly, neither of these turned out to be true.

“Doom” is an unfortunate movie. With the fodder of more than a decade of ‘Doom’ games to choose from, it severs all ties with the game except a name, producing something more fitting for TV’s ‘Sy-fy’ than a major motion picture. Its’ dialogue misses the mark, its action sequences fail to measure up, and ultimately comes off more a zombie in outer space movie than the suspense action-thriller it intended. Jean-Luc Godard, French-Swiss Director and film critic once said that the best way to criticize a movie is to make another one. If you want to see a film about aliens devouring humans, rent “Pitch Black.” Not only does the film have a better story, effects, and acting, but it accomplishes what one could only imagine the makers of “Doom” were hoping for. It is actually scary.

Do yourself a favor – skip “Doom.”

– by Mark Ziobro