Want to hear the most annoying sound in the world? To me right now, that is continuing reports of additional waves of Covid-19. Bah Gawd. How much more of this must we endure. I’m happy to report I’m healthy and taking the precautions most everyone is but god damn, what does a dude have to do to get to the mall for a soft pretzel. And please, before you start. Do not insult me and tell me to get a box in the frozen section of my local grocery store. I’m not a heathen for Christ’s sake.
That said, 2020 has been a year and you know that age old saying about laughter being the best medicine? Well… say what you will, but for any male born between the years 1980 and 1988, there’s a pretty good chance that the entirety of their sense of humor was crafted by a string of wildly hilarious movies crafted by two masters of comedy. When it comes to humor, often times, to the immature victor goes the life-lasting spoils. For the Farrelly Brothers, they deposited a hefty chunk of good will change into the comedy bank back in the early ‘90s, and they’ve been earning that interest ever since. With twelve movies under their belt, they made stars of Jim Carrey and Ben Stiller. They made us laugh, cringe and at times, even elicited a tear or two. I don’t know about you guys out there but god dammit—in what will surely come to be known as the “age of the Rona,” I need a good laugh…or two…or six.
So, with that ,here as we sit about to celebrate the 4th of July under quarantine and worry. Why not escape the blahness that is the first year of the “Boring 20’s” Let’s rank the comedies of the Farrelly Brothers! Ain’t nobody got time to read about twelve movies of which you probably only really care about a third. So, just like the amount of Krispy Kreme’s I can throw down in one sitting, here’s a half dozen of the Farrelly’s best movies ranked!
6. ‘The Heartbreak Kid’ (Rated ‘R,’ 2007)
Ben Stiller perfected the art of the everyman’s everyman throughout his career. That is to say, when he’s not playing some outlandish character, he usually plays the same variety of an indistinguishable gent—who, while kind of boring, is no doubt endearing. Now Stiller perfected that in a film we’ll talk about later, but along with the late great Jerry Stiller (Ben’s real life father), “The Heartbreak Kid” doubles down on the cringe factor and blindly goes for it without a single care in the world.
Jokes about queefing really hit in an unexpected way, and something about making jokes about the least spoken of bodily function really seem to elicit the kind of laugh you rarely get elsewhere. If you haven’t seen this love story gone wrong, it’s really worth the watch—even if by this point the Farrelly Brothers’ charm was starting to lose steam.
5. ‘Me, Myself and Irene’ (Rated ‘R,’ 2000)
Jim Carrey is at his absolute best when he can just one hundred percent lean into a manic onslaught of comedic chaos. Never did the artist have quite the pallet he did here. Playing a man with multiple personalities so fits the beauty of Jim Carrey. He’s cruel, crass, and downright nasty. At times, he is as revolting as it comes and can even be hard to watch as he whips a dildo around in a truly wonderfully demented scene. And I gotta tell you…I love it. I saw this comedy classic with adults the first time I saw it and the 14-year-old version of me nearly bit a hole in my cheek trying not to laugh at the above mentioned scene as well as the grocery store checkout scene. It’s bonkers in the best way possible. Their best movie? Nah. Jim Carrey’s/the Farrelly Brothers’ best movie? Nope. But it’s god damn glorious!
4. ‘Hall Pass’ (Rated ‘R,’ 2011)
What would you do? Honestly? “Hall Pass” took the thought that passes through every dude’s mind and just ran with it! You know, the thought that if not for their wife, girlfriend, partner, or significant other, they’d be out on the street like a Golden God, gifted to females, cleaning up ass like Wilt Chamberlin. Fellas, let me tell you. The comedic onslaught of Owen Wilson and Jason Sudekis more than prove that should be a pipe dream and nothing more.
The Farrelly Brothers absolutely rock when they find a balance of cringe and charm—and “Hall Pass” more doubled down on both. “The Law & Order” styled transitions between days are great, and none hit harder than Sudekis rocking the sleep apnea machine. If you slept on this nearly decade old comedy, get in on it!
3. ‘Kingpin’ (Rated ‘PG-13,’ 1996)
“Hey, I hope you don’t mind. I got up a little early, so I took the liberty of milking your cow.” I’ll leave it up to you to finish that quote from this (bowling) balls to the wall comedy classic. Woody Harrelson, Randy Quaid, and the most glorious man to ever walk the planet, Bill Murray slay scene after scene. The laugh per minute ratio is off the chart.
The PBA always seemed kinda like Nascar’s slightly more sophisticated brother. It’s not great, but “Kingpin” certainly takes it to another level. And Bill Murray’s exaggerated bowling style adds to the laughs and excellent asshole-ness of Big Ern McCracken is everything we love about Bill Murray; it’s possibly his last truly great comedic role. Fun note: the movie pays props to my hometown Scranton, PA nearly a decade before Michael Scott and “The Office” made it a cultural phenomenon.
2. ‘There’s Something About Mary’ (Rated: ‘R,’ 1998)
There’s something so wrong about the Farrelly Brothers’ “There’s Something About Mary.” In fact, there’s a lot wrong. Call me crazy, but this movie does not get made—no way, no how—in 2020. Some of the humor has definitely not aged well. But that adds to its charm. It is no doubt of its time. And for whatever faults it may have in terms of what it chose to lampoon, one getting their dick stuck in their pants is just never not hilarious. I mean, that scene alone and the scream. It actually physically hurts me to watch it. Yet I will rewind it half a dozen or so times just to see Ben Stiller’s metal braces-filled mouth let out that hilarious scream. Jesus Christ.
Editor’s note written by the author: I just went to YouTube and watched that clip and I’ve got tears running down my face. Son of a bitch. You know the rest of the movie. It’s the movie that solidified America’s love affair with Cameron Diaz and made Ben Stiller a household name.
1. ‘Dumb and Dumber’ (Rated: ‘PG-13,’ 1994)
“Dumb and Dumber” is my all time favorite comedy for at least one hundred and forty-seven reasons. But this is number one. In the year 2000, my father, step-mother, sister, step-brother, and step-sister drove from Pennsylvania to Florida in a Ford Winstar to go on a Carnival Cruise. What a great family vacation. My loving parents got one of those TVs that you could operate in a car with a VCR (remember those!?) and we brought a bunch of movies. The car ride takes about 23 hours all told. We watched “Dumb and Dumber” at least four times, and then for the next week on this cruise, my siblings and I quoted the movie at literally every possible moment to the point our parents were literally at their breaking point. I mean they were having involuntary spasms every time one of us would go “mock” followed by “yeah” or delivered Lloyd Christmas’s impassioned monologue about their pets heads falling off. I mean it was like we just landed on the planet and our only source of communication was dialogue from this movie.
Well after a week or so of unlimited pizza, ice cream, and tons of fun in the sun, we get back into the Windstar to start the long journey back home. As my father starts heading onto the highway about 5 minutes into the ride, my siblings and I collectively say, “What should we watch?” And I go, “Let’s watch “Dumb and Dumber” to which my father swings around 180 degrees and goes “give me that video!” It was glorious childhood shenanigans and whenever I watch “Dumb and Dumber,” whatever poor bastard is watching it with me hears that story. And now all of you have. Stay safe folks!
