Not only did I manage not to watch this for 30 years, but I was also unaware that it was written by John Hughes. I did know it was a family film about a giant ass dog, as only the 90s can do. And I assumed (rightly) that I would love it.
Any semblance of a plot takes a back seat to watching a cute puppy – eventually a slobbering St Bernard – display comical antics.
Bow wow wow
Beethoven comes to join the Newton family. The kids – played by Nicholle Tom, Christopher Castile, and Sarah Rose Karr – love him. So does the mom (Bonnie Hunt).
The conflict comes from the dad (Charles Grodin) who begrudgingly lets him stay. “The kids will lose interest, I’ll have to take care of it.” He rants upon the pups arrival. “It’ll grow to be enormous, it’ll take over the yard, the bushes will die and the lawn will look terrible. And when the dog finally settles down, it’ll die. And everybody will be so upset, we’ll have to go get another puppy, the whole thing will start all over again!”
Never meant to be serious
The bad guys are cartoon characters. Lead by Dean Jones as Dr. Herman Varnick, a fictitious villain who steals dogs for, testing? Abuse? We don’t need to know why. Dr. Varnick is assisted by two goofball henchmen played hysterically by Oliver Platt and Stanley Tucci.
Other 90s icons make cameos. David Duchovny, Patricia Heaton, and even Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Christopher Castile and Sarah Rose Karr are famous for Step by Step and Kindergarten Cop respectively. Someone please take me back to 1992!
Plot aside, its Groden’s show. An underrated actor, Charles Grodin can make you laugh with his physical comedy and quippy lines. “No matter how many showers I take I still smell Beethoven all over me!”
“Beethoven” is a fun movie that’s not just for kids. Anyone can and should dial this one up for a night of nostalgia and upbeat nature.
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