“Punch Drunk Love” follows Barry and Lena, who are trying to keep their fresh new romance from falling apart due to Barry’s mental health, which is often in dire straits due to interference from outside forces (mainly a rather nosy sibling who doesn’t understand Barry’s need for space, and a bunch of goons from a phone sex call gone wrong).
Barry, who seems to suffer from severe social anxiety, initially dislikes the idea of his sister hooking him up with Lena. He gradually develops a connection with her on his own and begins to open up more, and the relationship soon turns therapeutic and benefitting for him despite the initial daunting mental blocks and challenges he faces. It helps that Lena is mindful of his emotional well-being, never forcing him into any uncomfortable situation, even on their almost-disastrous date when a restaurant owner threatens to throw Barry out. The movie also shines a light on how both are respectful of each other’s boundaries as well.
Two important lessons I took away from “Punch-Drunk Love” are that ‘love is a powerful emotion’ and ‘it’s important to give your loved ones and lovers the space they deserve when they need it or ask for it.’ These are important messages to take home, and I’m glad this movie highlighted them, since a lot of relationships start out with a spark, but can instantly turn toxic or disastrous when a couple is just not on the same page. When you’re in a different mental headspace or wavelength with another, it’s hard to interact or speak honestly—or sometimes even at all.
While many might say conversation is key in any relationship, I found it fascinating how “Punch-Drunk Love” subverted this and focused on how Lena and Barry hit it off as a couple with barely much conversation, given how quiet and reserved Barry is.
Much like the movie “Amelie,” “Punch-Drunk Love” plays around with silences and manages to capture all the emotions brought on by love in a nuanced fashion, and actually conveys more through these silences alone. Another aspect of the leads’ relationship which made me feel oh-so-giddy and more invested in this blossoming romance was how Lena treated Barry with kindness; she listened to him and spoke about his interests in order to break the ice on their first date, and thus made him comfortable instantly. If there was a guidebook on dating an introvert or someone with mental illness, this movie would be it.
Another subtle but memorable scene that was enough to showcase the power of love and to portray Barry’s strong feelings and determination to be with the one he loves is the ‘phone booth scene,’ wherein the payphone he uses to contact Lena at her hotel in Hawaii lights up as soon as her voice wafts in from the phone to greet him. The scene is enough to thaw the most cold-hearted person. And even if you’re a pessimist about love, maybe this movie could change your viewpoint about the same.
There are a few scenes in “Punch-Drunk Love” which might make you cringe, especially if you’re an introvert yourself, or even remotely hate the idea of socializing or being around relatives who aren’t understanding of your mental health, and can thus be very pushy in order to make you socialize. As an introvert with asocial tendencies, I know the feeling of wanting my own space, so I sympathized with Barry and understood him— maybe even better than all seven of his siblings, even when he went so far as to kick in a few glass windows as the tension got way too intense for his liking.
Thankfully, the colour palette used for this movie, especially the soothing and pleasant blues, will help balance out any uncomfortableness and cringe some scenes might induce. The use of romantic reds for Lena—and for some of Barry’s surroundings—only enhances the feeling of being in love and the overwhelming power that love has over an individual’s mental well-being.
Adam Sandler as Barry proves that he can be a powerful and dramatic actor through just his body language and intonation alone. The late Philip Seymour Hoffman plays the perfect ‘villain’ to Barry as the owner of a phone sex line who constantly wreaks havoc on Barry’s mental health and gives him grief via a string of threats, which also threaten to harm his blossoming love-life (the confrontational scene between them in the climax is intense to watch, and only makes one root for Barry even more). The build-up to their intense meeting in particular is scarily brilliant.
Emily Thompson (Lena) too emotes well, and it’s always a treat to watch her. Mary Lynn Rajskub plays the annoying, nosy sibling to a T, whether she is mocking and arguing with Barry over the phone or hackling him over dinner. The soundtrack by Jon Brion is used wisely, with the background score becoming increasingly jarring when Barry undergoes a mental breakdown, or by lending a soothing and sweet touch to the mood during the film’s intimate scenes.
“Punch-Drunk Love” is a charmer, and I would highly recommend it as not just a Valentine’s Day flick, but also as a movie to watch when you’re feeling low or down on your luck when it comes to romance. It might just lift your spirits up.
