“Primate” is a dumb, cheap, over-the-top horror movie. But I had fun watching it, yelling at the screen the entire time.
The 2025 film was directed by Johannes Roberts, who also co-wrote with Ernest Riera. It premiered at Fantastic Fest before its January release, and we all know how stellar January horror films can be.
It’s never meant to be taken seriously, as evidenced by the first death which occurs seconds into the 89-minute film. If you want something easy, predictable, and campy, look no further.
Ein Chimp??!!?
The background is laid out at the start.
Adam Pinborough (Troy Kotsur) is a famous novelist living in a palatial Hawaiian mansion. Adam’s late wife was a linguistics professor, who adopted a baby chimpanzee and taught it how to communicate with various signing methods. In the present, Ben the chimp is part of the family.
Eldest daughter Lucy (Johnny Sequoyah) is flying home with her friends, Kate (Victoria Wyant), Nick (Benjamin Cheng), and Hannah (Jessica Alexander). Lucy’s younger sister (Gia Hunter) is at home, waiting for her return.
Unfortunately, Ben has contracted rabis. Like Cujo, Ben is now set to violently murder everyone and anyone he encounters.
Sirens
The cast is comprised of very attractive young women. Johnny Sequoyah, Victoria Wyant, Jessica Alexander, Gia Hunter. Names I don’t know and have never encountered before. I can’t judge their acting prowess with such a ridiculous sample, but all are competent if not highly capable of working with what they have.
As stated before. “Primate” is thoroughly absurd. The protags do a lot of horror-dumb things, and you’ll find yourself yelling at the screen dozens of times throughout. Deaths are brutal, gross, and anything but scientific.
Characters are thinly painted. Some, like Brad and Drew (Charlie Mann and Tienne Simon) are here for no other reason than to be colorful deaths, and you’ll identify that right away.
But it’s not without tension. As Cujo kept its prey confined to a sweltering car, our characters here spend time trapped in a swimming pool (chimps can’t swim). And Adam is deaf, which sets up some excellent suspense later in the story.
Chimps be whack!
I love that Johannes Roberts kept CGI out of the movie. Ben was played by Miguel Torres Umba, whose IMDB labels him as a movement specialist known for his expertise in creating and portraying physically demanding and dynamic characters.
The decision to keep crappy CGI out is what makes “Primate” digestible. We’ve seen apes in horror movies many times. Ben moves and acts organically and allows the audience to accept this situation.
Chimpanzees are known for their strength and short temperament, so the threat of a rabid one is legit. By the end of the night, Ben has slain more victims than Son of Sam.
I fully expected to flunk “Primate” but it’s not terrible. Actually, it is terrible. Let me rephrase that. It’s terrible, but in a fun way.
