After Earth (PG-13)

I’ve only seen two of M. Night Schlama-lama-ding-dong’s movies. “The Sixth Sense” is one of my favorite thrillers. “The Happening” is not. I’d like to see more of his movies, so I can witness a rise and fall of a famous figure, rather than just hear about one. That being said, I don’t hate the guy as much as many other people do. His new movie, “After Earth,” is certainly better than “The Happening,” but, unfortunately, not a lot happens.

A crash landing leaves Kitai Raige and his legendary father Cypher stranded on Earth, 1,000 years after events forced humanity’s escape. With Cypher injured, Kitai must embark on a perilous journey to signal for help.

There’s one main plot point that doesn’t make a lick of sense. If humans haven’t been on earth for one thousand years, why do the movie’s creatures have a passionate hatred for humans? They cannot evolve to hate and kill humans if they haven’t even seen one during their lifespan. That’s really the only plot point that is truly bothersome and rather stupid. On top of that, the plot isn’t intriguing in the slightest.|

Will Smith’s Cypher sits on the sidelines with two broken legs while his young son (and real life son) goes on a journey fighting off CGI baddies like there’s no tomorrow. He’s a character who is trying to prove his courage, because something happened in the past that he feels is his fault, while he just sat on the sideline and didn’t do anything. Kitai is like Cypher’s little Mario, because he is telling him what to do – except that Kitai makes some decisions for himself at times that are rather idiotic. This makes Cypher frustrated, as well as the viewer. We’re essentially watching a character control another character, but the one being controlled is a disobedient little shit, who’s trying to be just like his old Pa.

The only part that intrigued me about this movie is the idea of fear, where there are some tips that could help out very anxious people. There’s this phenomena in the movie called ‘ghosting,’ where if one has no fear, it hides them from certain creatures. Cypher is the first human to master this technique. There is some depth added to the character of Kitai, because he’s trying to shake cowardice off of himself.

Cinematically, the movie is a wonder. The cinematography is beautiful and it’s a great movie to look at. The CGI is also quite good, but sometimes suffers in credibility as breathtaking as the visuals come off as. There’s a main creature that may or may not be hiding somewhere on Earth; and the idea of whatever it could be is quite terrifying. The actual being? Not so much. It’s, essentially, a hideous CGI-thing that’s a hybrid of cooler creatures from better movies. It made me want to quote Jeff Bridges from the “R.I.P.D.” trailer, “I don’t know which eyes to shoot you between!”

For an M. Night Shyamalan movie, “After Earth” is very, very straightforward (for those who have never seen one of his films, they are usually renowned for having some form of twist). However, one of the larger downsides to “After Earth” is that when the action isn’t happening, the movie’s painfully boring. When the action is happening, it’s still pretty freaking boring. There are scenes of intensity and action sequences, which are pretty cool, but nothing memorable. It’s the type of movie that makes you want to ask for a pillow and a blanket. For a movie that is only 100 minutes, it feels like it’s over two hours.

Acting-wise, the petite cast carries the movie fairly well. Sophie Okonedo is the mother who’s there for one scene. Zoë Kravitz is present throughout the movie, mainly in flashbacks. Birds, crazy apes, and jaguars (oh my!) appear throughout. The fourteen-year old Jaden Smith carries the movie well on his shoulders, even if his Atlantic-esque, kind-of British accent is a dagger to my ear. It’s annoying as hell. Jaden Smith captures some good emotions, and he’s a solid performer; but, if I were the casual moviegoer, he wouldn’t attract me to his movies on opening weekend. Maybe eventually, but I can’t imagine it right now. His character’s decisions are silly, and at some points when he is in mortal danger, I thoughts to myself, “If he dies, the movie will end… Yippee!”

Will Smith, on the other hand, kind of just sits back and looks bored and in pain throughout the movie. When his son cracks a joke, he replies: “That is correct.” He’s really milking the military father approach, but the Fresh Prince is way too serious and dull here. It’s his story, and it isn’t so fresh. Since it’s his story, why does he look so bored? His character falls asleep in some parts, and all I thought at that moment is: “I’m with ya, Prince!”

In a nutshell: There’s a good central performance by little Jaden Smith. The cinematography’s beautiful, as is the setting. “After Earth is just a very basic, straightforward movie that doesn’t have any surprises hidden away. “Oblivion” wasn’t excellent, but was at least interesting. However, “After Earth” is a movie so slowly paced and boring, it should come with a warning that reads: This movie may cause extreme drowsiness.