Review: ‘Rare Exports’ Consistently Fine, but Too By the Numbers to Excel

Ah, what better way to get into the 31 Days of Halloween spirit than with a Christmas horror movie? A little yuletide in your spooky season never hurt anyone, unless it’s Jalmari Helander’s Finnish film “Rare Exports.” 

In the film, a kid called Pietari Kontio (Onni Tommila) witnesses a drilling crew digging deep into the depths of the Korvanturi mountains, and they uncover the greatest secret of Christmas and unleash an addition of the season that won’t exactly bring warmness to your belly, 

Pietari becomes convinced that they are unearthing Santa Claus, and like a rational person who is scared of what’s to come, he begins researching Santa in Finnish books that depict him as a creature much that looks much differently from the Santa Claus in shopping malls or Coca-Cola commercials. And this mythology is where the film is at its most intriguing to me, as Pietari goes through his books and finds different versions of Santa. 

At this point, I thought the film would be more like “Krampus” with that creepy mythology, and sure, it is. But what we get is something that feels fresh, because it is so out there in its execution. Total points to Jallmari Helander for his originality here, and the authenticity of casting Onni Tommila’s real-life father and actor Jorma Tommila as the strict Rauno is a smart choice, too. Their relationship is the heart of the film and the kid is at least likable (though I like Onni Tommila better in Jalmari Helander’s other film, “Big Game”). 

There are creepy moments in “Rare Exports,” like when we get hints at what this Santa Claus may look like, and then we meet a silent Santa Claus that the parents in the film—Rauno, Aimo (Tommi Korpela) and Piiparinen (Rauno Juvonen)–hold hostage to the digging site as they want restitution for a bunch of the reindeer that were killed. By the way, this trio of actors is amusing as they try to figure out what to do with Santa, and it all leads into a bonkers finale that is, admittedly, fun enough.

However, this is legitimately the first point in the film where something of consequence actually happens. It’s a relatively short film–an 80-minute horror adventure–but nothing ever truly astounding happens here. And even with this third act, I still wanted more and part of it just feels like a big tease because they could go in a more visually rewarding direction. 

Given the strong critical acclaim (90 percent approved on Rotten Tomatoes, a grade of 71 on Metacritic), I was expecting a lot more from this film. Perhaps I wanted it to be scarier and that’s not an expectation that will be met here. There’s a larger focus on the adventure of the bizarre situation, as the narrative rides that bizarre situation as the characters adapt to new information. 

“Rare Exports” is consistently fine, only reaching for memorable in the third act. When I watch a film, though, I want something bigger and better than consistently fine. I just wasn’t inspired by this film as an original tale that goes through the motions but doesn’t bring consistently fun creativity to the table. By the end of it all, I just asked myself, “Wait, that was it?”