The trailer for âChampionsâ crafted a picture in my mind. One of a new entry into my Top Favorites List. A comical heartfelt movie that I would soon own, and add to my continual viewing rotation.
Swing and a miss.
The film was directed by Bobby Farrelly of the Farrelly Brothers fame in his solo directorial debut. Unaware of this facet going in, I was shocked at how vulgar most of the jokes in âChampionsâ are. But it should be expected, coming from the mind that brought us raunchy trash like âDumb and Dumber,â âShallow Hal,â âDumb and Dumber Toâ etc.
Marcus Marokovich (Woody Harrelson) is a second rate basketball coach with a hot temper. A brush with the law lands him in the service of âThe Friendsâ an inner city community center basketball team comprised of intellectually challenged individuals.
The Friends team includes ten players, each with their own unique traits and challenges. Johnny (Kevin Iannucci) loves animals and refuses to shower. Marlon (Casey Metcalfe) recites facts and data with all the finesse of a bulldozer. Showtime (Bradley Edens) can mimic every NBA celebratory dance, but canât make a single shot â all of which he attempts backwards.
The film gets props for casting this lot, and they work well together, suffering only at the hands of the disjointed script. A scripts that includes literal dick and fart jokes at every turn. Yes, youâll laugh out loud multiple times (as I did.) Youâll also turn your head in disgust as one character vomits into the face of another. Not funny, not needed, and not welcomed. Mr. Farrelly should have saved it for âDumb and Dumber For.â
Champions is predictable.
Marcusâ character begins as an ignorant buffoon. He meets Johnnyâs beautiful and sassy sister (Kaitlin Olson) and must learn to be a better coach. Yada yada yada â weâve seen this game before and thatâs totally fine. I went into the theater knowing exactly what I would get from the story. But I wasnât expecting the clumsy road it took to get there.
The chemistry between characters â coach to player, coach to love interest, coach to fellow coach â was null. Exposition dumps and awkwardly delivered lines made credibility nonexistent. Unknown Matt Cook, Ghostbuster Ernie Hudson, and stoner Cheech Marin play supporting roles. The Friends arenât actors and it shows, but I expected more from Harrelson.
âChampionsâ runs far too long at 123 minutes. I would have preferred more interactions with Marcus and the Friends. The relationship was glossed over quickly. The film wastes too much time taking off at the start. Its poor editing. Still, Des Moines looks cool.
Several characters had no reason to be included at all. Iâll let each viewer decide that for themselves. The antagonists were typical over-the-top bullies who donât exist in reality or, at the very least, wouldnât be so glib about their ignorance. And it returns to the well one too many times with one of the Friends saying something you wouldnât expect just to get a cheap laugh.
March Madness starts today, and âChampionsâ is a basketball movie. Itâs fine. If you lower your expectations. And Iâm sure theyâll make a sequel.
“Champions” is currently in theaters.
