Review: Changing Times and an Irritating Ending Make ‘Crystal Skull’ Just ‘Okay’

“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” is the one Indiana Jones film I can remember watching as I know I watched it around its DVD release in 2009. I’ve forgotten mostly everything about it, and couldn’t remember if it was good or bad, and now I can confirm that it is not that good. I don’t think it’s awful, either, but that’s not a very strong defense for the film. 

I thought some of the dislike for this film was mainly because of that fridge scene where Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford, who still kicks ass in “Crystal Skull” at the age of 66) survives the nuclear blast by hiding in a fridge and getting blown what seems like halfway across Nevada. That’s stupid, sure, and shouldn’t be excused, but what about that raft scene in “Temple of Doom” when they jump out of a plane on a life raft, land perfectly, flip against a cliff and then land unharmed in a river? That is equally unbelievable. 

I also thought that perhaps some of the criticisms were because of Shia LaBeouf. I’m generally a Shia fan and I don’t think of Mutt Williams is that interesting—his temper and constant combing of his greaser hair became annoying—but I don’t think he’s the worst sidekick in this franchise, either (you only have to go to my review of “Temple of Doom” to find out who). LaBeouf does his job and he has a couple of chances to shine, especially in one of the most exciting car chases of the film when he sword fights with Ukrainian supervillain Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett), working for the Communists. 

Instead of Nazis this time, it’s the Russians trying to obtain these strange artifacts known as the Crystal Skulls, oddly shaped things that are magnetic even though crystal is not magnetic. The film is also set in 1957, by the way, so now Indiana Jones has added decorated war hero to his list of accomplishments in the 19 years since we’ve seen him. Steven Spielberg captures the spirit of this era well—depicting the greasers with accuracy as well as the Cold War conflict. He also, of course, directs the action very well; and I loved how he went back to experimenting with Indy’s shadow like he did so masterfully in “Raiders.” As for the writing, I think screenwriter David Koepp generally does a decent job of translating Indiana Jones to this time period. 

However, much like how Indiana Jones is an iconic character of the 1980s in film—the 1930s in his world—he kind-of feels like a relic and a strange artifact in a Cold War story. I’m not trying to make that a comment on his age, as, like I said, he still kicks ass; it just takes a bit of getting used to seeing Indiana Jones in this very different era, but it’s still exciting to watch Harrison Ford in the role. 

In the beginning, the film merely trades a chase scene in beautiful settings for a chase scene on Mutt’s bike through a college campus, avoiding a political rally and avoiding people in a library—instead of hearing a Wilhelm scream when a random henchman is blown up, a nerdy kid in the library does the scream instead as he tries to avoid Mutt’s bike—and it all just takes a bit of getting used to seeing him in the 1950s. 

There’s an attempt by the filmmakers as they inject some familiarity with Karen Allen as Marion Blackwood (the old flame from “Raiders”) and I thought this familiarity worked well, as their on-screen chemistry still works here. Mutt is also her son, so it doesn’t take a rocket scientist or an archaeologist to guess where that plot point is heading. The father-son aspect with Mutt is fine, just not that exciting. Still, both Mutt and Marion get chances to shine, especially when Marion does some driving that would make Vin Diesel’s Dominic Toretto of “Fast and Furious” blush and ask, “Wow, do you want to be part of the family?”

As for that action scene where Mutt swordfights with the main villain, that’s fun, and this is the one of the biggest set pieces in this film and it excites. It also shows that even after 19 years since the last film, the green screen still looks wonky at times, and I almost prefer the obvious green screen of the original trilogy, because it nearly looks more distracting here. This is most prominent when Mutt is trying to balance between the two cars as they speed through the jungle, and it’s especially weak when Mutt strangely turns into Tarzan and swings on vines with monkeys to catch up to his comrades.

This all leads into one of my favourite scenes and visuals of this film, when some of the Communists get eaten by armies of ants. It’s a little dark, but boy, is it awesome. As for the main villain herself, I totally forgot that Cate Blanchett was in this film and she does what she’s asked to do well, hamming it up as a villain who proves that— instead of “absolute power corrupts absolutely”—“absolute knowledge corrupts absolutely.” She’s like a psychic doctor or something who loves psychology, but I didn’t think it was well-explained.

I liked some aspects of this film but the ending ruined this film for me, as I was never really interested in the allure of the Crystal Skulls, and certain aspects of the ending felt like a cop-out. I know the artifacts in these films generally have supernatural aspects and powers attached to them, but I think it was brought to an even more unbelievable level with the Crystal Skulls. To discuss this, I must spoil. 

As Spielberg supplants Indiana Jones into the 1950s, he brings a science fiction aspect for the ending, smart as this was a time when the world was becoming fascinated with the space and the great unknown. Personally, I like science fiction films when I know they’re science fiction, and when aliens came into play I very much lost interest. It feels like Indiana Jones is stepping into an episode of “The X-Files” when it’s revealed the Crystal Skulls are alien beings. They then literally kill the main villain with an overload of the universe’s knowledge, and I found it all so silly. 

It also made me a bit angry when Indiana Jones looked at the wreckage of the city as the aliens escape and said, “their treasure wasn’t gold, it was knowledge.” Spoken like a true archaeologist but making me watch a sometimes boring two-hours plus journey to find knowledge peeved me off. I think this film is legitimately okay at times, but I know understand that much of the hate comes because of the bad ending, which is the main thing I’ll remember about this film. And that’s a shame.