Review: ‘Battlefield Baseball’ Is Messy, Hilarious, But Ultimately Frustrating

You have to hand it for Japan for making madcap, insane films like “Battlefield Baseball.” While I was looking for a different kind-of baseball film for the Buff’s theme for the MLB All-Star Break, I came across the little seen Japanese actioner “Battlefield Baseball.” Saying this film is different is putting it lightly, as I haven’t seen anything like it. It’s a film where you hear the premise and either laugh and immediately watch it. Or, you’ll question if it’s a real film.

Yes, it’s a mess of a film, but it’s real.

The plot

It’s about an event called the Koshien Stadium Tournament, where, as the film’s opening tells us in a nightmare, high school baseballers seize a moment of honour as if their life depends on it… Because it does. Our hero team is Seido High, led by an intense all-star called Gorilla (“Gori Gori!” is the man’s catchphrase). When their coach Principal Kocho gets wind they’ll have to face the completely terrifying Gedo High – a team composed of bizarre blue-faced zombies – he flips out.

Conveniently coinciding with that is a young man named Yakyû Jubei (Tak Sakaguchi) who “recruited” to the team, or at least that’s how it’s explained. As it shows on screen, he shows up randomly saving one of Seido High team members, Megane a.k.a. Four Eyes (Atsushi Itõ), and fights a bizarre pack of villains led by Bancho (Hiroyuki Konishi). He’s invited to the team after the battle because he’s so badass. This is one moment where the film cleverly incorporates baseball; as when Bancho swings at Jubei with a baseball bat, if he misses, it’s a strike.

The Letterboxd synopsis explains this development as the Seido Team  not having a chance “unless they can bring back a star pitched with a lethal pitch called the Super Tornado, but who has hung up his cleats and has no desire to return to the game.” This doesn’t sell it all, though it’s the basics of what happens, and the only way this has any similarities to American baseball films.

A musical tragedy

We learn Jubei hates baseball because he accidentally killed his own father with his Super Tornado pitch, as it missed the father’s glove and killed him.We hilariously learn about this tragedy through a musical number. As Jubei ends his song, he sings, “And that’s the story of a boy and baseball.” It’s one of the stupidest, most hilarious moments in the film, only enhanced by the cast members coming out to applaud the song and an emotional moment that Jubei and Four Eyes share together.

Four Eyes’ storyline is equally stupid as his mother is adamant she doesn’t want Four Eyes playing baseball, as she threatens with a rolling pin. That’s unpacked later with an anime style fight for Four Eyes’ right to game… Speaking of anime, “Battlefield Baseball” would work so much better as one. The film’s true wildness is constrained by live action and its budget. The film often looks ugly because of colorization; but there’s all a cheap, Wal-Mart bin charm to it.  One such charm is where the action is “freeze-framed” and the characters are in tableaus of violence. It’s hysterical watching these actors struggle to stay still as they’re shaking like leaves.

The villains

The over-the-top villains chew the scenery so much they are straight out of anime. They’re ugly villains; and look like they’re in a dirt cheap production of “Mad Max.” The coach of the Seido High team looks like a Thanos cosplayer who stole Jim Carrey’s Mask. There’s also Bancho, a villain turned hero and initially Jubei’s adversary, who keeps reincarnating as different people.

Like the rest of the film, it’s funny but so random. It’s an absolute mess. A hilarious mess sometimes, but one where the script needs work. The screenwriting team – who adapt from a comic by Gatarô Man – put a ton of randomness in the film. That makes it unnecessarily hard to follow at times.

Untapped potential

The world building’s also horrible, where Seido High is the only team with a taste for violence, when the entire tournament should have been that way. It’s fair to expect a tournament of baseball teams killing other, mixing Battle Royale with insane baseball. We get some of that, but it’s frustrating that most of the time we barely see the action. We just see the aftermath of fake heads strewn about.

The rules of the game aren’t clear, and it’s a strangely half-baked premise. It’s a shame because there are a lot of good ideas here. If the screenwriters actually cared about making it make some sense, this would be a much better film, and that’s the frustrating thing about “Battlefield Baseball.” By the time they get to the big battle, it’s sensory overload and the action is so randomly directed it’s hard to know where to look. It’s ridiculous throughout; but eventually it gets to a point where that ridiculousness is no longer entertaining.

As well, I was definitely expecting this to be a Battle Royale film, but there’s barely any baseball. It’s hard to tell if these filmmakers have any passion for the game; as they dedicate it to lovers of baseball and make that a core aspect of these players. However, it’s mostly bad Battle Royale violence where they barely show the action. It’s just one guy with a Special Tornado pitch. It’s fair to say that “Battlefield Baseball” is as much about baseball as “Good Will Hunting” is about hunting.