Commando (R)

While “The Terminator” (1984) would forever etch Arnold’s famous line “I’ll be back” into filmgoer’s minds, the 1985 film “Commando” can be seen as more of an exercise in showmanship. While “The Terminator” boasted a sci-fi scope and detailed script, what we find in “Commando” is little more than explosions, flexing biceps, and gunplay. Not that this is necessarily a detriment. And it certainly makes it an easy offering for our second annual “Man Movie May.” 

“Commando” is more or less fraught with disbelief, at least script wise. We have Schwarzenegger, here playing the role of John Matrix, an ex-military elite who has retired to a quieter life deep in the woods with his young daughter (Alyssa Milano). Where’s his wife? She’s supposedly dead, but explanations aren’t readily offered. We see he is a jack of all trades, carrying gigantic logs back to his home with one hand one minute, preparing his daughter breakfast the next. But, without too much time allowed to pass, a group of militants attack the Matrix abode, making off with his daughter. Apparently these guys didn’t read the action-film handbook. You never mess with Arnie’s kid.

The villain in this film is a man named Bennett, played by Vernon Wells. Wells isn’t known for much, but his slim IMDB credit shows he won a “Scare-a-Con” award for ‘Best Supporting Actor’ in the 2014 film “Throwback,” so that’s something.

Bennett in this film exists as a plot device, and nothing more. Matrix abandoned him on a previous mission, it’s payback, blah blah blah. Quick note: this film is all action, little plot and believability. If that sounds good to you, keep reading. If not – you probably got all you’re going to out of this review.

What follows is simply scene after scene of Arnold going after his daughter, heaven have mercy on anyone who gets in his way. Want a scene where Arnold pushes a brakeless car downhill after his daughter? Check. How about one where Arnold flips a car back on all four wheels after it is upended in a late night chase? Check. Want more: Arnold and a black militant named Cook (the venerable Bill Duke) fight in a cramped hotel room. “This Green Beret’s going to kick your ass,” mutters Cook. “I eat Green Beret’s for breakfast,” Matrix retorts. “And I’m very hungry right now.”

That’s the kind of movie we are dealing with here. The end result is a fast-paced guy fest that is easy on the eyes and solid entertainment, given you’re not looking for anything too deep.

Acting-wise, the film delivers as expected. Schwarzenegger is up to his usual one liners galore, and makes no real missteps here portraying John Matrix. While Wells’ Bennett is as deep as a puddle in a drought, it’s not really Wells’ fault, as he was clearly added to the script as a hallow villain just to give Arnold a reason to kick butt. He’s backed up by lesser villains, the most pleasing ‘Sully’ (David Patrick Kelly) and the aforementioned Cook.

We also have a thinly-brushed appearance by Dan Heydaya and an ally for Matrix, Cindy, played with decent chops by Rae Dawn Chong. While some of these characters are given virtually no backstory or motive, it really doesn’t take away from the film and everyone plays their part.

“Commando” is directed by Mark Lester, who has many films credited to his name, but the one that will likely stick out for people is 1984’s “Firestarter,” starring a young Drew Barrymore. He deserves credit with “Commando” for keeping it simple and giving people what they want. The film has that on-the-lam feeling throughout, zipping through scenes of Arnold preparing himself for the battle, to sneaking through military bases and closed sporting goods store.

The final confrontation between Bennett and Matrix is wrought with the right stuff, giving audiences what they want and more. Which is certainly more than action fans got with 2014’s “The Expendables 3.” And the action is par for the course. There are no laser rays or hydraulic presses here, but a fair amount of rocket launchers, grenades, and enough AK-47 fire to make Russia jealous. The end result is a lot of dead bodies and good-guy heroics.

“Commando” is just what you’d expect. Entertaining, thinly-plotted, and, bottom line, fun. If that’s enough for you, give it a try. If you’re looking for more, watch “Terminator 2: Judgement Day.” That’s Arnie, and scriptwriting, at its best.

– by Mark Ziobro